Now that we are nearing the end of the year, the one in which I took an enormous inhale — twelve months without writing — I wanted to let you know how the experiment went.
Back in March, I wrote that I was taking a year off from writing anything other than social media and blog posts for three reasons that I was aware of at the time:
- a much-needed break
- to concentrate on the writing students in my life
- to work on publishing and business aspects related to Thread.
Halfway through the year, in May, I posted an update reporting more available time, but that some essential part of me was missing. A few months later, in August, I noted I was reading more. Earlier this month, I indicated that my adventure in not writing had revealed some very surprising, writerly, results.
That should catch you up.
But in the spring, there was a strange and surprising turn of events.
A longtime writing project that I had released the year before, thinking that it was completed, done, fini, drifted over and hung overhead. It moved deftly, left, right, up and down, like a handful of colored balloons in a light wind. They hovered and I swatted at them, hoping to push them away, feeling as if I had carried and nurtured them long enough. I didn’t want them in my life.
Ah, but they weren’t going anywhere. I felt their presence for many weeks and sometime in late spring, as if they were tired of keeping themselves airborne, they popped, their skins falling right into my lap, into what appeared to be an actual shape.
It knocked me over, this wild and weird gift from above.
In moments, a structure appeared. And then, a title introduced itself. I took dictation, figuring I should at least scribble some notes. But it was more than mere scribbles. The balloon skins moved from flimsy to solidified, and in very short order I had an outline of a book-length memoir containing most of the elements of personal narrative that I teach my students: detail-scene-language-pacing-structure-storyline-voice-theme.
I’m calling the book, Seven Springs, and – you can’t make this stuff up – I am halfway through a first draft. The process has been extraordinary, like no other I have known, as if the words that hid themselves from me for decades are now available for the plucking.
So I’m feeling a bit sheepish. I went into this thinking I knew myself. I was taking the year off from writing and I now have enough material to get a book proposal into the works. That wasn’t supposed to happen. A memoir was the farthest thing from my mind.
I think giving myself permission not to write made space for my own thoughts and the words of other writers. I tip-toed out on a limb, far from my comfort zone, on my own. My chest expanded and I breathed it all in. My inhale.
Instead of feeling like the wind or the sea that moves my projects – my life – along, I see this year as the one in which I allowed myself to become a vessel – a receiver – and was gifted with gold.
Which is, of course, currency designed to share.
Stay close for more.
Photo by Ellen Blum Barish. Copyright 2016.
6 thoughts on “My Inhale Year: How It Went”
as I read this, I see the same thing happened to me, except I haven’t started writing again too much yet…at least the one thing that still hangs over me. Back in March, we had three weeks vacation and i planned to write. Before we left, I decided I wasn’t going to unless I wanted to, felt it in me, needed to. None of that happened. and here it is in November and I just now am getting a bit of an idea of what I can do…it was the right time for me to take your class, even though it didn’t feel like it at first. Loved reading this today.
So glad you are with us, Carol! The timing was clearly so right.
The vessel…. yes, yes,yes. Beautiful. Ah, the gifts we receive when we actively surrender.
Thank you, Ellen.
Yes, yes, yes to surrendering! Thank you for writing, Nancy…
Wow this is so cool!